and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
