Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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