I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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