i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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