then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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