I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We left the knife in your bed.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
