we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
