I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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