It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
