garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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