we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
