remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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