Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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