and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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