I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
