Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
