no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
