Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
