So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
