Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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