dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do herpes really smell.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
