Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
