nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
