Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
