i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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