you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
