We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
