i just google imaged poop.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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