The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
