I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize