that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize