wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize