I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My vagina just clenched in fear
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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