Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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