Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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