Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
