tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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