why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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