Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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