i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
