at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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