Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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