it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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