I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
