on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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