Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
