Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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