Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Who died my cat blue again?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
