worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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