dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
