ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
