Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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