my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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