You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
