that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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