covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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