there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
